1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female
3. A five day vacation only requires one suitcase
4. You dont have to monitor your friends sex life
5. You can open all your own jars
6. Old friends dont give you crap if you've lost or gained weight
7. When clicking throught the channels, you dont have to stall on every shot of someone crying
8. All your orgasms are real
9. you can go to the bathroom without a support group
10. You never have to clean the toilet
11. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes
12. Sex means never worring about your reputation
13. Wedding plans take care of themselves
14. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he/she can still be your friend
15. If your 34 and single no one notices
16. You can write your name in the snow
17. Chocolate is just another snack
18. Flowers fix everything
19. You never have to worry about other peoples feelings
20. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours
21. Three pairs of shoes is more then enough
22. You can eat a banana in front of builders
23. Foreplay is optional
24. Nobody stops telling dirty jokes cos you walk in the room
25. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day
26. You dont have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by
27. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid
28. Car mechanics tell you the truth
29. You dont give a rats ass if someone notices your new hair cut or not
30. You can watch a game in silence for hrs with your buddy without even thinking (he must be mad at me)
31. The world is your urinal
32. One mood, all the time
33. You can sit with your lega apart no matter what your wearing
34. Grey hair and wrinkles add character
35. You dont have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment
36. You dont care if someone is talking about you behind your back
37. You dont mooch off others' desserts
38. The remote is yours and yours alone
39. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them
40. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked
41. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom
42. If you dont call your buddy when you say you will, he wont tell your friends you've changed
43. Someday you'll be a dirty old man
44. You can rationalise any behaviour with the handy phrase "f**k it"
45. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies
46. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected
47. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because your not in the mood
48. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room
49. New shoes never cut, blister or mangle your feet
50. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind
73 Reasons why its great to be a bloke
51. You're expected to flash your arse in the window when travelling by coach
52. Fat is a femanist issue
53. A good spot isn't the end of the world
54. Every newsagent is full of available partners, provided you can reach the top shelf
55. You only have a limited range of acceptable haircuts to choose from
56. And as you get older you get less hair to worry about
57. If you wear a suit and tie, no one will suspect your a lesbian
58. You feel perfectly comfortable wearing clothes you wore yesterday and left on the floor all night
59. Being treated like a sex object is no bad thing
60. Men rule the world
61. And you live in it
62. You can become a catholic priest and have unlimited free wine
63. If you've got a toaster, your never more then 2 minutes away from a tasty and nutritious meal
64. You can buy cucumbers, marrows and courgettes without getting embarrassed
65. You never have to admit to not knowing anything
66. You can avoid bathing, shaving and ironing and merely be called eccentric
67. You dont have to sleep with the boss, unless you want to
68. Facial wrinkles are called character lines
69. When your past 80, your breasts dont interfere with your belt
70. Bad hair day? so what
71. You dont cry, unless your team gets promoted or wins something
72. You dont feel the need to read instructions
73. If nobody fancies you, its their problem
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