22 WAYS TO SAY SOMEONE IS STUPID

22) A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

21) The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.20) Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

19) He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

18) Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.

17) Forgot to pay his brain bill.

16) A few clowns short of a circus.

15) If he had another brain, it would be lonely.

14) Too much yardage between the goal posts.

13) An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

12) A few beers short of a six-pack.

11) A few peas short of a casserole.

10) Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.

9) One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.

8) One taco short of a combination plate.

7) A few feathers short of a whole duck.

6) Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

5) An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

4) As smart as bait.

3) His belt doesn't go through all the loops.

2) Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

AND .....

1) Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway, shut off the engine and coast into the garage.

I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say, 'You as horny as I am?' . . . and, she always acts like she's sound asleep!"