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USELESS AMUSEMENT
A ITALIAN IN DETROIT

One day I go to Detroit to a bigga hotel. In tha morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two piss's toast. She brings only one piss. I tella I wanna two piss. She says go to the toilet. I say "You no unnastand, I wanna two piss on my plate". She say "You better no piss on the plate, you somma ma bitch". I don't even know the lady and she called me a somma ma bitch.
Later, I go out to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tell I wanna fock. She tella me everyone wanna fock. I tella, "You no unnastand, I wanna fock on the table". She say, "you better not fock on the table, you somma ma bitch".
So I go back to my room in tha hotel and there is no shits ona my bed. I called the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tella me go to the toilet. I say "You no unnastand, I wanna shit ona the bed". He say "You better no shit on the bed, you somma ma bitch".
I go to the check out and the man at the desk say "Peace to you" and I say "Piss ona you too, YOU somma ma bitch. I qonna back to Italy".